What regrets do you have in life?

Humans are not perfect and prone to error. Consequently, we all must have done something regrettable in the past that changes the trajectory of our life. I am no exception. Although some are devoured by their regrets, I choose to learn from mine and move forward. In fact, my regret is the best teacher of my life.

Three years ago, I was an ambitious medical graduate who had been hoping to be an American doctor for his whole life. I felt powerful and the entire world seemed to be in the palm of my hand. To fulfill my dream, I made a comprehensive plan, including gap years during which I could take the licensing exam and do internships. Unfortunately, just as everything looked promising, a pandemic broke out in the same year. Though the pandemic, now called COVID-19, spread like wildfire and swept the whole world, global traveling was not totally forbidden, meaning that my plan was still feasible. Nonetheless, I made a terrible mistake - canceling my trip. I reneged on my promise to myself to overcome whatever it took to practice medicine in the US.

In the first few months after my pensive decision, I kept giving myself excuses that the pandemic was beyond my control and convinced myself that surrendering to fate was not shameful. Furthermore, I created an illusion for myself that giving up on my dream was just fine. It turned out that I was wrong. On match day, the moment I heard of the success story of my acquaintance, I realized how desperately I wanted that dream and the awful decision made me squander away precious gap years and pay the price. For the months following the match day, I grew extremely depressed and kept blaming myself for the mistake.

Fortunately, I am never a person who would just mourn over regrets and go into a downward spiral of endless depression. After months of contemplation, I determined to take another venture and overcome all the obstacles of matching to a residency program. Despite the ongoing pandemic and my disadvantage, I buckled up and embarked on my journey without further hesitation. Just this year, I conquered all the steps of the licensing exam. In addition, I obtained three strong letters of recommendation during my three-month internship. Now, I am on my way to the match day and a closer step to my dream.

To sum up, the regret offered me a chance to learn and grow, and I was fortunate enough to overcome it and realize that never giving up is the only medication for my depression and disappointment. Moreover, however ashamed we are, those errors make us who we are today. Therefore, embrace the regrets and carry on.